"My poo looks like an ant hill! Doesn't that look good? Is Daddy going to take a picture of the ant hill?"

"Is cow's pee milk?"

"It's a good thing my heart is beating. It's been beating all day."

"You know why I'm giving you a sticker? Because I don't want you to be dead."

"Pretend when I walk around the house I stink."

"Pretend when you flash the light in my eyes, pretend that I run out of the skunk house to play."

Pretend when you spray the bug spray on me that it gets in my fur."

"Pretend that you smelled me."

"I've got a magina."

"I can hardly wait for Charlie to become a mommy."

"My poo was curved like a challah"

"I can hardly wait to be a mommy!"

"Hey, Daddy. You stepped on a roly-poly and made him dead, and he didn't like it."

"Charlie, try not to cry while I'm away because that will make me sad."

"It's like tushy." (Sam after watching 15 seconds of Big Country's song "In a Big Country")

"Daddy, you're growing another arm." (as she plays with a skin tag next to David's underarm)

"You know what I'm gonna dream about tonight? ELVIS!"

"Mommy, you smell better than a pig."

"I won't eat if you do that." ("that" is daddy singing like Tina Turner to Private Dancer)

"I'm really turning into a baker."

"Mommy is nicer than you Daddy."

"Mommy, you smell like a pig"

"Things happen all the time."

"Hey daddy, there's a monkey inside of you."

"Did you hear that sound? My belly speaks Spanish."

"My belly has bones."

"Have I been to outer space before?"

"Fake flowers come from the darkness of goo."

"Too many secrets are bad for your teeth."

"Daddy, did you just step on a duck?"

"You can't wait to see how huge this poo is going to be. It's going to be huge. Huge as a bowling ball." After going poo and seeing the reality of her creation: "Hmmm. That poo was a medium, but it was still big."

"I know it looks like someone else's poo, but it is mine."

"Charlie can start using the potty when she becomes a human."